it seems there is a lot of the world in that.. very interesting Molly
On Tue, May 21, 2013 at 7:33 PM, Molly <mollyb363@gmail.com> wrote:
Surely, you jest.
Steven Covey (jr) wrote the current business book on trust that
includes the following summary:
High Trust
Behaviors
Low Trust Behaviors
Straight talk
Honesty, integrity, affirmation, good facts, willingness to correct
Spinning, cover up, lie, skirt issue, yes to everyone, double talk,
flatter
Demonstrate respect
Non-judgmental, appreciate, recognize, include, courtesy,
No respect, discounting, belittling, ignoring, end run, judge,
rudeness, contempt, exclude, show respect only to those who can do
something for you
Create transparency
Clear, truthful, open, integrity, authenticity, discrete
Hide/cover up, withhold information, keep secrets,
create illusions, pretend
Right wrongs
Humility, integrity, restitution, caring
intent Avoid clarity, don't admit
or repair mistakes, cover up mistakes
Show loyalty
Be loyal to those not present, credit where credit is due,
speak of everyone respectfully, keep confidences
Backbiting/gossip, sell others out, take credit yourself, sweet-talk
people to their faces and bad-mouth behind their back
Deliver results
Results on-time/within budget, get the right things done,
make things happen, accomplish what you were hired to
do Overpromise/under-deliver, fail to deliver,
deliver on activities not results
Get better
Continuously improve, increase capability, act of
feedback Rest on laurels, deteriorate, force
every problem into your one solution
Confront reality
Take issues head on, address tough stuff directly, acknowledge the
unsaid Skirt issues/head in sand, unwilling to self examine and
correct
Clarify expectations
Disclose and reveal expectations, renegotiate if
needed Create vague and shifting
expectations, assume or don't disclose expectations
Practice accountability
Hold yourself accountable, take responsibility for results,
communicate clearly Blame/avoid, don't take responsibility, don't
hold others accountable
Listen first
Listen with ears, eyes and heart, understand,
diagnose Don't listen, speak first,
listen last; pretend listen, listen without understanding
Keep commitments
Do what you say you will, keep
confidences Don't make
or break commitments, make vague commitments
Extend trust
Extend trust abundantly to those who earn it, or extend appropriately
based on risk,
credibility and character
Hidden
agendas, victim/villain mentality, interpersonal conflict, gaming,
give responsibility without authority
The chart got messed up in the cut and paste but you get the point.
Very basic stuff on how to treat people to either engender or breach
trust. Doesn't really address people experiencing post traumatic
stress from violence inflicted by others, or how to recover. I think
that when we think of trust, we think of the more gross forms like
violence that we inflict on one another, not the subtle forms,
especially those that rob of us our own resiliency and esteem.
Ultimately, we ourselves are responsible for the way we trust or not.
On May 21, 8:47 am, RP Singh <123...@gmail.com> wrote:
> What do you mean Molly ? You trust Allan and not me , is that it ?
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> On Tue, May 21, 2013 at 6:09 PM, Molly <mollyb...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > A demonstration of trust
>
> > On May 21, 8:22 am, RP Singh <123...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > When you quote the Bible it is a simple religious answer , but when
> > others
> > > refer from a book you call them book thumpers. Aren't you contradicting
> > > yourself or maybe you are playing with two set of rules---one for
> > yourself
> > > and your cronies and the other for the rest of us.
>
> > > On Tue, May 21, 2013 at 5:15 PM, Allan H <allanh1...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > > Not really RP you asked a question and I gave you the simple answer
> > > > guideline are of a religious nature..
>
> > > > On Tue, May 21, 2013 at 12:58 PM, RP Singh <123...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > >> Now , aren't we being book-thumpers , Allan ?
>
> > > >> On Tue, May 21, 2013 at 3:54 PM, Allan H <allanh1...@gmail.com>
> > wrote:
>
> > > >>> In the western world it basically known as the 10 commandments or
> > above
> > > >>> all do know harm.. as for India RP I would ask vam he is far better
> > versed
> > > >>> in Hindi than I am.
>
> > > >>> On Tue, May 21, 2013 at 12:08 PM, RP Singh <123...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > >>>> " the importance staying within guidelines God laid down to
> > follow.."
>
> > > >>>> What are those guidelines and when and where did God lay them down ?
>
> > > >>>> On Tue, May 21, 2013 at 11:44 AM, Allan H <allanh1...@gmail.com>
> > wrote:
>
> > > >>>>> I have been thinking about trust, it seems we lose it via lies,
> > > >>>>> dishonesty and distortion of the truth. It is difficult to trust
> > when
> > > >>>>> those a person or organizations a persons trusts are constantly
> > violating
> > > >>>>> that trust. I seriously think that people's souls have forgotten
> > they are
> > > >>>>> accountable for even the small dishonesty or the importance
> > staying within
> > > >>>>> guidelines God laid down to follow.. Sad really
>
> > > >>>>> On Tue, May 21, 2013 at 5:57 AM, James <ashkas...@gmail.com>
> > wrote:
>
> > > >>>>>> Machiavellian intelligence has been a useful concept for me in
> > > >>>>>> dealing with manipulative, intelligent, and dominating
> > personalities. How
> > > >>>>>> this relates to trust, in my view prominently, is in
> > reciprocation of
> > > >>>>>> honesty and mutual respect. Identifying a bully in one of the
> > three above
> > > >>>>>> is easy as pie but can get confusing as skill increases across
> > them all, it
> > > >>>>>> can leave one questioning themselves, which most of the tactics
> > are
> > > >>>>>> targeting vulnerability or creating through unease. In turn what
> > can be
> > > >>>>>> gained is an immunity to those tactics and self recognition, as
> > the rules
> > > >>>>>> of the schoolground go or older siblings learning regret for
> > toughening up
> > > >>>>>> their little brother. The chaffing and soreness just isn't worth
> > the rub
> > > >>>>>> though, I am wondering why so many find themselves in a position
> > beneath
> > > >>>>>> such, and think a good many rules are in place to keep a balance.
> > If one
> > > >>>>>> lacks trust of self it seems they would have to endure and
> > persevere at the
> > > >>>>>> mercy of the games Molly. I mean that winceingly.
>
> > > >>>>>> There is a great and well-guided side to it also! :) I am curious
> > why
> > > >>>>>> I keep thinking of 'motivation' when I try to place this into a
> > > >>>>>> psychodynamic (unintended redundancy) context.
>
> > > >>>>>> On 5/20/2013 4:28 PM, Molly wrote:
>
> > > >>>>>>> Not sure those models help us if we find ourselves witholding
> > trust
> > > >>>>>>> although not sure why. theories are great, but if I cannot
> > trust,
> > > >>>>>>> but
> > > >>>>>>> want to, the theories aren't all that helpful.
>
> > > >>>>>>> On May 20, 12:24 pm, archytas <nwte...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > >>>>>>>> Most of us in organisational development gave up on the
> > love-trust
> > > >>>>>>>> model because we saw it as dangerous. The reality is
> > Machiavellian.
> > > >>>>>>>> Chris Argyris is probably the major writer in this area -
> > > >>>>>>>> essentially
> > > >>>>>>>> we need to work with theories-in-use rather than espoused
> > theories.
>
> > > >>>>>>>> On 20 May, 12:11, Molly <mollyb...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > >>>>>>>> Yes, indeed. our first basic trust lessons come early. I was
> > > >>>>>>>>> always
> > > >>>>>>>>> interested to see how ruthless children can be. I suppose they
> > > >>>>>>>>> learn
> > > >>>>>>>>> it somewhere. Left unchecked, it can grow into the now cliche
> > > >>>>>>>>> bullying that they tell us is part of growing up. Part of
> > life,
> > > >>>>>>>>> actually, as my mother in law was a bully, and I watched he
> > methods
> > > >>>>>>>>> become more subtle as time went after her overt methods were no
> > > >>>>>>>>> longer
> > > >>>>>>>>> taken seriously. I think we learn, as time goes on, the
> > currency of
> > > >>>>>>>>> trust - the exchange of trust and trustworthiness. It is as
> > > >>>>>>>>> misused
> > > >>>>>>>>> as any other currency, but when used efficiently, brings
> > quality to
> > > >>>>>>>>> life.
> > > >>>>>>>>> On May 19, 10:22 am, rigs <rigs...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > >>>>>>>>>> Re children and trust- a good test is to slice the pie and
> > watch
> > > >>>>>>>>>> their
> > > >>>>>>>>>> eyes judging if each piece is exactly the same size or who got
> > > >>>>>>>>>> better
> > > >>>>>>>>>> Christmas presents, etc.= sibling whining-rivalry. It may be
> > > >>>>>>>>>> traced to
> > > >>>>>>>>>> self-interest over-riding trust in the family or group. Check
> > out
> > > >>>>>>>>>> Probate Court! The first sins of Genesis display this quite
> > well-
> > > >>>>>>>>>> to
> > > >>>>>>>>>> the point of expulsion and the first human murder.//Alert
> > citizens
> > > >>>>>>>>>> know the games being played in their cultures- do they accept
> > or
> > > >>>>>>>>>> avoid
> > > >>>>>>>>>> them? And what exactly is glorified in the various cultures of
> > > >>>>>>>>>> human
> > > >>>>>>>>>> history? I think that's where the answer lies.//As for the
> > > >>>>>>>>>> media/news-
> > > >>>>>>>>>> there is something warped that becomes intoxicated with
> > violence,
> > > >>>>>>>>>> crime, bad weather, Hollywood breasts, etc. Now local tweets
> > play
> > > >>>>>>>>>> under the news so we can get the immediate and ignorant
> > reaction
> > > >>>>>>>>>> of
> > > >>>>>>>>>> every tom-dick and harry which has supplanted the ancient
> > water
> > > >>>>>>>>>> well
> > > >>>>>>>>>> or tavern for gossipy opinion.//On the other hand, children
> > have a
> > > >>>>>>>>>> good reason to distrust if they are unfortunate to be born to
> > > >>>>>>>>>> twisted
> > > >>>>>>>>>> parents. Even animals are trained on how to survive in the
> > > >>>>>>>>>> wild...and
> > > >>>>>>>>>> the world is wild (Rollo May called it psychotic, I believe).
> > > >>>>>>>>>> On May 17, 3:24 pm, Molly <mollyb...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > >>>>>>>>>>> I think that fear is a big part of the inability to trust.
> > Fear
> > > >>>>>>>>>>> of
> > > >>>>>>>>>>> what can become blurry. A general fear expressed as a lack
> > of
> > > >>>>>>>>>>> self
> > > >>>>>>>>>>> trust - no trust that you can act and prevail, or preserver
> > > >>>>>>>>>>> through
> > > >>>>>>>>>>> the suffering...
> > > >>>>>>>>>>> On May 17, 3:17 pm, Allan H <allanh1...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>> I can not help but wonder of how much are news media is at
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>> fault.. It seems
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>> as if they work at instilling fear.. it seems all that is on
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>> the news is
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>> extreme dramatic footage and it is taken to the extreme
> > always
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>> trying for
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>> the most dramatic footage and continuing to hammer it home
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>> never letting it
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>> go until the next terror story comes along.. a recent
> > example
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>> of this would
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>> be the Boston bombing.. 24 hr day coverage no let up ..
> > with
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>> that kind of
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>> coverage how can you expect people not to be frightened..
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>> On Fri, May 17, 2013 at 8:09 PM, archytas <
> > nwte...@gmail.com>
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>> wrote:
>
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>> Trust is subject to wobbly definition Moll - I've been
> > reading
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>> some
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>> dire stuff on neuroeconomics of late. Sue always has it
> > that
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>> alien
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>> ethnographers would be appalled to discover how frightened
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>> people are
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>> of each other.
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>> On 17 May, 12:44, Allan H <allanh1...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> When I read of Pope Francis condemnation of wealth ,, I
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> thought of you
>
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>> and
>
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> the problems of Detroit which you face daily.. The voice
> > of
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> your soul is
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> strong and it will guide you well,, you are one of the
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> people I do trust
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> you have a great capacity for understanding..
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> I do not think he will be popular with the Republican
> > party
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> as his words
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> will carry greeat weight among Catholics and other people
> > of
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> strong
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> morality.. what he did do is create a rallying point and
> > a
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> voice that
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> echos in reality and history.. the Gold Calf economics
> > has
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> had its veil
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> ripped off..
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> On Fri, May 17, 2013 at 1:37 PM, Molly <
> > mollyb...@gmail.com>
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>> wrote:
>
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Life has been very good to me in the last couple of
> > decades
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> after
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> learning to trust myself enough to take a few bold steps
> > and
> > > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> follow my
>
> ...
>
> read more »
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|_D Allan
Life is for moral, ethical and truthful living.
Of course I talk to myself,
Sometimes I need expert advice..
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