Re: Mind's Eye trust

I think people will adapt to behaviors for many reasons- like a
paycheck, or diploma, etc.

On May 22, 11:11 am, Molly <mollyb...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Not sure what you mean by "This" rigs.  I am hoping that RP was
> kidding, not sure how to respond otherwise.
>
> If you are referring to the Covey model, not sure how behaving in ways
> that engender trust, like not engaging in gossip, or in ways that
> break trust, like gossiping, is in any way passive agressive.
> Measuring trust in doses would seem to me to be exhausting, as I
> encounter too many people in a day.  I find myself extending trust en
> route, and then making a mental note later about adjusting my own
> behavior to suit the situation.  If I know that someone I am meeting
> likes to gossip, I will take care in my responses or limit the meeting
> time.  Which to me just makes sense, but to someone who likes to
> gossip might seem passive agressive I suppose.  Which is why I say, in
> the end, we ourselves determine our own behavior and ultimately our
> own internal climate with thoughts and feelings.
>
> On May 21, 10:37 pm, rigs <rigs...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
> > This sounds like passive-agressive. Is it? What in society fosters
> > this disorder? I thought of James being so able to identify some
> > obvious types but what about the interior-unspoken-unexpressed that
> > remains hidden? Is trust a lofty concept to maintain order and
> > control? How does one trust trust and who defines it? Etiquette and
> > courtesy tame the savage beast, as Archytas once mentioned, so does
> > that make them a ruse? What about the rug-pullers and apple-cart-
> > upsetters who have often been courageous and heroes?
>
> > On May 21, 12:33 pm, Molly <mollyb...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > Surely, you jest.
>
> > > Steven Covey (jr) wrote the current business book on trust that
> > > includes the following summary:
>
> > > High Trust
> > > Behaviors
> > > Low Trust Behaviors
>
> > > Straight talk
> > > Honesty, integrity, affirmation, good facts, willingness to correct
> > > Spinning, cover up, lie, skirt issue, yes to everyone, double talk,
> > > flatter
>
> > > Demonstrate respect
> > > Non-judgmental, appreciate, recognize, include, courtesy,
>
> > > No respect, discounting, belittling, ignoring, end run, judge,
> > > rudeness, contempt, exclude, show respect only to those who can do
> > > something for you
> > > Create transparency
> > > Clear, truthful, open, integrity, authenticity, discrete
> > >                                  Hide/cover up, withhold information, keep secrets,
> > > create illusions, pretend
>
> > > Right wrongs
> > > Humility, integrity, restitution, caring
> > > intent                                            Avoid clarity, don't admit
> > > or repair mistakes, cover up mistakes
>
> > > Show loyalty
> > > Be loyal to those not present, credit where credit is due,
> > > speak of everyone respectfully, keep confidences
> > > Backbiting/gossip, sell others out, take credit yourself, sweet-talk
> > > people to their faces and bad-mouth behind their back
>
> > > Deliver results
> > > Results on-time/within budget, get the right things done,
> > > make things happen, accomplish what you were hired to
> > > do                                  Overpromise/under-deliver, fail to deliver,
> > > deliver on activities not results
>
> > > Get better
> > > Continuously improve, increase capability, act of
> > > feedback                                        Rest on laurels, deteriorate, force
> > > every problem into your one solution
>
> > > Confront reality
> > > Take issues head on, address tough stuff directly, acknowledge the
> > > unsaid          Skirt issues/head in sand, unwilling to self examine and
> > > correct
> > > Clarify expectations
> > > Disclose and reveal expectations, renegotiate if
> > > needed                                    Create vague and shifting
> > > expectations, assume or don't disclose expectations
>
> > > Practice accountability
> > > Hold yourself accountable, take responsibility for results,
> > > communicate clearly             Blame/avoid, don't take responsibility, don't
> > > hold others accountable
>
> > > Listen first
> > > Listen with ears, eyes and heart, understand,
> > > diagnose                                              Don't listen, speak first,
> > > listen last; pretend listen, listen without understanding
>
> > > Keep commitments
> > > Do what you say you will, keep
> > > confidences                                                            Don't make
> > > or break commitments, make vague commitments
>
> > > Extend trust
> > > Extend trust abundantly to those who earn it, or extend appropriately
> > > based on risk,
> > > credibility and character
> > >                                                                   Hidden
> > > agendas, victim/villain mentality, interpersonal conflict, gaming,
>
> > > give responsibility without authority
>
> > > The chart got messed up in the cut and paste but you get the point.
> > > Very basic stuff on how to treat people to either engender or breach
> > > trust.  Doesn't really address people experiencing post traumatic
> > > stress from violence inflicted by others, or how to recover.  I think
> > > that when we think of trust, we think of the more gross forms like
> > > violence that we inflict on one another, not the subtle forms,
> > > especially those that rob of us our own resiliency and esteem.
> > > Ultimately, we ourselves are responsible for the way we trust or not.
>
> > > On May 21, 8:47 am, RP Singh <123...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > > What do you mean Molly ? You trust Allan and not me , is that it ?
>
> > > > On Tue, May 21, 2013 at 6:09 PM, Molly <mollyb...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > > > A demonstration of trust
>
> > > > > On May 21, 8:22 am, RP Singh <123...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > > > > When you quote the Bible it is a simple religious answer , but when
> > > > > others
> > > > > > refer from a book you call them book thumpers. Aren't you contradicting
> > > > > > yourself or maybe you are playing  with two set of rules---one for
> > > > > yourself
> > > > > > and your cronies and the other for the rest of us.
>
> > > > > > On Tue, May 21, 2013 at 5:15 PM, Allan H <allanh1...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > > > > > Not really RP  you asked a question and I gave you the simple answer
> > > > > > > guideline are of a religious nature..
>
> > > > > > > On Tue, May 21, 2013 at 12:58 PM, RP Singh <123...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > > > > >> Now , aren't we being book-thumpers , Allan ?
>
> > > > > > >> On Tue, May 21, 2013 at 3:54 PM, Allan H <allanh1...@gmail.com>
> > > > > wrote:
>
> > > > > > >>> In the western world it basically known as the 10 commandments or
> > > > > above
> > > > > > >>> all do know harm..  as for India RP I would ask vam he is far better
> > > > > versed
> > > > > > >>> in Hindi than I am.
>
> > > > > > >>> On Tue, May 21, 2013 at 12:08 PM, RP Singh <123...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > > > > >>>> " the importance staying within guidelines God laid down to
> > > > > follow.."
>
> > > > > > >>>> What are those guidelines and when and where did God lay them down ?
>
> > > > > > >>>> On Tue, May 21, 2013 at 11:44 AM, Allan H <allanh1...@gmail.com>
> > > > > wrote:
>
> > > > > > >>>>> I have been thinking about trust,  it seems we lose it via lies,
> > > > > > >>>>> dishonesty and distortion of the truth.  It is difficult to trust
> > > > > when
> > > > > > >>>>> those a person or organizations a persons trusts are constantly
> > > > > violating
> > > > > > >>>>> that trust. I seriously think that people's souls have forgotten
> > > > > they are
> > > > > > >>>>> accountable for even the small dishonesty or the importance
> > > > > staying within
> > > > > > >>>>> guidelines God laid down to follow..  Sad really
>
> > > > > > >>>>> On Tue, May 21, 2013 at 5:57 AM, James <ashkas...@gmail.com>
> > > > > wrote:
>
> > > > > > >>>>>> Machiavellian intelligence has been a useful concept for me in
> > > > > > >>>>>> dealing with manipulative, intelligent, and dominating
> > > > > personalities. How
> > > > > > >>>>>> this relates to trust, in my view prominently, is in
> > > > > reciprocation of
> > > > > > >>>>>> honesty and mutual respect. Identifying a bully in one of the
> > > > > three above
> > > > > > >>>>>> is easy as pie but can get confusing as skill increases across
> > > > > them all, it
> > > > > > >>>>>> can leave one questioning themselves, which most of the tactics
> > > > > are
> > > > > > >>>>>> targeting vulnerability or creating through unease. In turn what
> > > > > can be
> > > > > > >>>>>> gained is an immunity to those tactics and self recognition, as
> > > > > the rules
> > > > > > >>>>>> of the schoolground go or older siblings learning regret for
> > > > > toughening up
> > > > > > >>>>>> their little brother. The chaffing and soreness just isn't worth
> > > > > the rub
> > > > > > >>>>>> though, I am wondering why so many find themselves in a position
> > > > > beneath
> > > > > > >>>>>> such, and think a good many rules are in place to keep a balance.
> > > > > If one
> > > > > > >>>>>> lacks trust of self it seems they would have to endure and
> > > > > persevere at the
> > > > > > >>>>>> mercy of the games Molly. I mean that winceingly.
>
> > > > > > >>>>>> There is a great and well-guided side to it also! :) I am curious
> > > > > why
> > > > > > >>>>>> I keep thinking of 'motivation' when I try to place this into a
> > > > > > >>>>>> psychodynamic (unintended redundancy) context.
>
> > > > > > >>>>>> On 5/20/2013 4:28 PM, Molly wrote:
>
> > > > > > >>>>>>> Not sure those models help us if we find ourselves witholding
> > > > > trust
> > > > > > >>>>>>> although not sure why.  theories are great, but if I cannot
> > > > > trust,
> > > > > > >>>>>>> but
> > > > > > >>>>>>> want to, the theories aren't all that helpful.
>
> > > > > > >>>>>>> On May 20, 12:24 pm, archytas <nwte...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > > > > >>>>>>>> Most of us in organisational development gave up on
>
> ...
>
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>
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