Re: Mind's Eye trust

I suppose there is a difference between trust and bad decision making,
but you are right, the difference appears to be subtle in some cases.
When our experience is deconstructing, can we trust that everything
will be alright without falling into the dark emotions attached to
memories of things gone wrong? It might be in our nature to do so, or
we might be trained at an early age to do so, and a leap of faith may
be necessary for reprogramming our first responses. Deconstruction is
part of life. So is chaos. Yet I see many crying the sky is falling
at the first sign. Seems to me a lack of trust - maybe self trust.

On May 23, 6:20 pm, archytas <nwte...@gmail.com> wrote:
> I met him.  He was a good pianist and great company.  Much of what he
> did was actually common sense.  I might, for instance, suggest I am so
> in love with rigs that I am sharpening my sword at this very moment to
> enter the circles of Hell to save her soul.  My cunning plan might, in
> fact, be to send Allan with his pellet gun!  Laing found that much
> professed as love was in fact part of a control strategy.  I am, in
> fact, far too fond of rigs to want to stop her dancing with Dante.  My
> grandson enjoyed the video game without noticing the love story.  He
> is good at the killing for such a sensitive boy.  Max loves him dearly
> (strategy - turn boy to extra walk butler?)
>
> One of the dark features of trust can be seen in such as child sexual
> grooming or the Stockholm effect.  Molly's not comparing herself to
> others and just loving when she can seems right to me - though a good
> time girl might just say the same words with another meaning!  One of
> the theories on autism is 'intense world theory' - rather than being
> insensitive to social perception they get such far more intensely than
> most of us (thus they are overwhelmed and have to compensate
> internally).  I suspect there are a number of categories amongst us in
> terms of 'trust decisions'.  Tolerance of ambiguity - as in the Neil
> is looking at Gabby who is looking at Allan example - to get through
> to the factual-logical is quite rare.
>
> Very few people talk much about how they come to trust.  I don't think
> I would ever have signed up for a loan with an interest rate swap
> contract - but many did.  How did they get conned - given I could
> explain the dangers in a couple of minutes?  I suspect their trust was
> swooned,partly because they were conned by lying script selling, but
> also because their is little rational in most human decision making.
>
> On 23 May, 07:42, Allan H <allanh1...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> > The infinite is very difficult to come to grips with.. it can not be done
> > if it is not examined with effort put in to understanding it,,  now I do
> > not even begin to understand ego  I know it is in relationship to "I"  but
> > it always seem to lead me back the the acronym  EGO = Easing God Out
> > Yes never read Laing  but reading about him as he was existentialist he can
> > not be all bad..
>
> > On Thu, May 23, 2013 at 12:09 AM, Molly <mollyb...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > For me, it is difficult to put reasonable terms to the infinite.
> > > Although I do think that the soul is a part of us and holds our
> > > individual aspect of the infinite, like the ego holds our finite
> > > aspect- I can't say how it has effected my life, other than I know I
> > > feel it always and listen more closely when "hearing" it.  Let those
> > > with ears hear.
>
> > > I have stopped trying to compare myself to others, and just love when
> > > I can.  I find more peace there.
>
> > > On May 22, 2:48 pm, Allan H <allanh1...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > > I was reading what you were saying,,  I can not help but wonder if this
> > > > ability to see into and react does not come from an earlier time of the
> > > > soul..  the more I watch different things saying a persons personality is
> > > > really the personality of the soul  with almost what would appear to be
> > > > a indication of soul development. The ability to work through and evolve.
> > > >  Think over what has been said recently I am think people only slightly
> > > > modify their behavior and it seem to start from birth.  (looking at my
> > > own
> > > > brothers and sister none of them have ever changed their personality
> > > since
> > > > we were kids,, me I was always the odd man out with a strange interest in
> > > > spirituality , why no idea) but I have actually changed radically and
> > > still
> > > > retained the original..
>
> > > > On Wed, May 22, 2013 at 6:11 PM, Molly <mollyb...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > > > Not sure what you mean by "This" rigs.  I am hoping that RP was
> > > > > kidding, not sure how to respond otherwise.
>
> > > > > If you are referring to the Covey model, not sure how behaving in ways
> > > > > that engender trust, like not engaging in gossip, or in ways that
> > > > > break trust, like gossiping, is in any way passive agressive.
> > > > > Measuring trust in doses would seem to me to be exhausting, as I
> > > > > encounter too many people in a day.  I find myself extending trust en
> > > > > route, and then making a mental note later about adjusting my own
> > > > > behavior to suit the situation.  If I know that someone I am meeting
> > > > > likes to gossip, I will take care in my responses or limit the meeting
> > > > > time.  Which to me just makes sense, but to someone who likes to
> > > > > gossip might seem passive agressive I suppose.  Which is why I say, in
> > > > > the end, we ourselves determine our own behavior and ultimately our
> > > > > own internal climate with thoughts and feelings.
>
> > > > > On May 21, 10:37 pm, rigs <rigs...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > > > > This sounds like passive-agressive. Is it? What in society fosters
> > > > > > this disorder? I thought of James being so able to identify some
> > > > > > obvious types but what about the interior-unspoken-unexpressed that
> > > > > > remains hidden? Is trust a lofty concept to maintain order and
> > > > > > control? How does one trust trust and who defines it? Etiquette and
> > > > > > courtesy tame the savage beast, as Archytas once mentioned, so does
> > > > > > that make them a ruse? What about the rug-pullers and apple-cart-
> > > > > > upsetters who have often been courageous and heroes?
>
> > > > > > On May 21, 12:33 pm, Molly <mollyb...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > > > > > Surely, you jest.
>
> > > > > > > Steven Covey (jr) wrote the current business book on trust that
> > > > > > > includes the following summary:
>
> > > > > > > High Trust
> > > > > > > Behaviors
> > > > > > > Low Trust Behaviors
>
> > > > > > > Straight talk
> > > > > > > Honesty, integrity, affirmation, good facts, willingness to correct
> > > > > > > Spinning, cover up, lie, skirt issue, yes to everyone, double talk,
> > > > > > > flatter
>
> > > > > > > Demonstrate respect
> > > > > > > Non-judgmental, appreciate, recognize, include, courtesy,
>
> > > > > > > No respect, discounting, belittling, ignoring, end run, judge,
> > > > > > > rudeness, contempt, exclude, show respect only to those who can do
> > > > > > > something for you
> > > > > > > Create transparency
> > > > > > > Clear, truthful, open, integrity, authenticity, discrete
> > > > > > >                                  Hide/cover up, withhold
> > > information,
> > > > > keep secrets,
> > > > > > > create illusions, pretend
>
> > > > > > > Right wrongs
> > > > > > > Humility, integrity, restitution, caring
> > > > > > > intent                                            Avoid clarity,
> > > don't
> > > > > admit
> > > > > > > or repair mistakes, cover up mistakes
>
> > > > > > > Show loyalty
> > > > > > > Be loyal to those not present, credit where credit is due,
> > > > > > > speak of everyone respectfully, keep confidences
> > > > > > > Backbiting/gossip, sell others out, take credit yourself,
> > > sweet-talk
> > > > > > > people to their faces and bad-mouth behind their back
>
> > > > > > > Deliver results
> > > > > > > Results on-time/within budget, get the right things done,
> > > > > > > make things happen, accomplish what you were hired to
> > > > > > > do                                  Overpromise/under-deliver,
> > > fail to
> > > > > deliver,
> > > > > > > deliver on activities not results
>
> > > > > > > Get better
> > > > > > > Continuously improve, increase capability, act of
> > > > > > > feedback                                        Rest on laurels,
> > > > > deteriorate, force
> > > > > > > every problem into your one solution
>
> > > > > > > Confront reality
> > > > > > > Take issues head on, address tough stuff directly, acknowledge the
> > > > > > > unsaid          Skirt issues/head in sand, unwilling to self
> > > examine
> > > > > and
> > > > > > > correct
> > > > > > > Clarify expectations
> > > > > > > Disclose and reveal expectations, renegotiate if
> > > > > > > needed                                    Create vague and shifting
> > > > > > > expectations, assume or don't disclose expectations
>
> > > > > > > Practice accountability
> > > > > > > Hold yourself accountable, take responsibility for results,
> > > > > > > communicate clearly             Blame/avoid, don't take
> > > > > responsibility, don't
> > > > > > > hold others accountable
>
> > > > > > > Listen first
> > > > > > > Listen with ears, eyes and heart, understand,
> > > > > > > diagnose                                              Don't listen,
> > > > > speak first,
> > > > > > > listen last; pretend listen, listen without understanding
>
> > > > > > > Keep commitments
> > > > > > > Do what you say you will, keep
> > > > > > > confidences
> > > > >  Don't make
> > > > > > > or break commitments, make vague commitments
>
> > > > > > > Extend trust
> > > > > > > Extend trust abundantly to those who earn it, or extend
> > > appropriately
> > > > > > > based on risk,
> > > > > > > credibility and character
>
> > > > > Hidden
> > > > > > > agendas, victim/villain mentality, interpersonal conflict, gaming,
>
> > > > > > > give responsibility without authority
>
> > > > > > > The chart got messed up in the cut and paste but you get the point.
> > > > > > > Very basic stuff on how to treat people to either engender or
> > > breach
> > > > > > > trust.  Doesn't really address people experiencing post traumatic
> > > > > > > stress from violence inflicted by others, or how to recover.  I
> > > think
> > > > > > > that when we think of trust, we think of the more gross forms like
> > > > > > > violence that we inflict on one another, not the subtle forms,
> > > > > > > especially those that rob of us our
>
> ...
>
> read more »

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