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Posted: 13 Jun 2011 05:49 AM PDT

A few uncomfortable days later, it was time for Alicia to start school.

Jonathan and Alicia walked into the kitchen where M sat having a coffee with Estelle. "I'm driving Alicia to school and you should probably come. Since you'll be the one driving her and picking her up on a regular basis. What do you think?"

M carefully set her coffee cup down on the table. Took a fortifying breath. She hated the thought of sharing such a small space with him, but he was right. She should go along for the drive. Avoiding the moment when she had to speak directly to him, she circumvented him and said to Alicia, "What do you think? Would you like me to come too?"

Alicia, totally beyond any reservations she'd previously had toward M, let go of her brother's hand and charged over. Placing both small palms on M's cheeks, she leaned in and gave her a smacking kiss on the lips. "Yes! I want you to come too!"

M finally looked up at Jonathan, catching an odd look on his face. "I guess that settles it then. I'm coming along for the ride. Just let me brush my teeth, and then I'll be good to go."

She got up, put her cup in the dishwasher, then trying to appear casual, left the kitchen via the dining room. The long way around, but the way that meant she didn't have to come too close to temptation—ah, Jonathan.

The last few days had been hard. The memory of the kiss they'd shared still seared her synapses. Right or wrong, whatever the reason behind it, that kiss had rocked her world. Fortunately, Jonathan and Alicia had had plans for the Labour Day weekend, so she'd had no problem avoiding him. But now, he'd be here every evening, and on the days Alicia was home. The days didn't unsettle her as much as the evenings did. For the most part, Jonathan stuck to his office when he was home, with Alicia across the hall in her playroom. During that time she kept herself busy with planning and research for her business.

The evenings would be torture. She'd made an arrangement with Estelle, and was giving her a hand with meal preparation. Alicia had decided she wanted to be a part of that as well, and was determined that M would share her meal with her and Jonathan.

Wouldn't that be more fun than she could stand!

But if it would make Alicia happy, she'd do it. She was slowly learning that there was a lot this little girl had missed out on. Oh, she had love. Jonathan and Estelle soaked her in it, and from what Alicia had said about her father, they'd had a great relationship. But for all Alicia had, there were so many things she didn't have, and it broke M's heart. It called to mind all the things she'd wished for as a little girl and never received. She wouldn't deny Alicia something so simple. Even if it made her long for so much more.

Fifteen minutes later, they walked into Alicia's classroom, each of them holding one of her hands. It had taken a little—okay, a lot—of prodding to get her out of the car. Today's big adventure had turned into something scary when she put two and two together and realized that they'd be leaving her here alone.

Add to that, since losing her father, she'd really hadn't spent any significant time away from her brother.

But they'd made it this far. Actually into the classroom. Now they needed to jump the next hurdle. Leaving her here alone.

M took in the explosion of colour around her. Had her kindergarten class looked like this? As with most of her childhood, she had no memory of it. She clenched her teeth, angered anew at the fact that her brain felt the need to protect her from something that should be so innocent.

Focusing on the scene around her, she took in the white walls that acted as a background for the alphabet and numbers one to nine—giant size cut-outs in a rainbow of colour—marching around the walls, close to the ceiling. Short bookshelves crammed with books, colouring books, puzzles, and a variety of other toys and games. A table piled high of what looked like costumes. Coat hooks—empty now, but in three of four months they'd carry mounds of coats, hats and mittens. Round tables that seated four. She hoped Alicia settled in and had fun here. More than that, she wished it provided a wealth of fond memories for her later in life.

An awfully young looking woman separated herself from a small clutch of children and headed toward them. She smiled at them, and said, "Hi. I'm Ms. Davis." She knelt down to eye level with Alicia. "And what's your name? Would you like to go play with the other kids while I talk to your Mommy and Daddy for a minute?"

Alicia clutched M's hand harder, but dropped Jonathan's and wrapped her arm around his leg instead, hugging him tight. M was surprised she was even capable of noticing. She felt like her heart had just exploded in her chest. God, what she wouldn't give for them to be a family. To be part of something so special. To have a home. A place to belong.

She barely registered Jonathan's sudden twitching before he cleared his throat and said, "I'm Jonathan Davenport. We spoke on the phone. This is my little sister Alicia, and this is…this is…"

At his hesitation, M looked over at him. The intensity in his gaze startled her and had her heart in an uproar all over again.

"…this is our friend. We wanted her to come along today. She'll also be the one picking Alicia up on school days."

M's brain honed in on "our friend" and nothing else. Whatever happened in the next few minutes, she was barely conscious of it. Sure, she wanted to be so much more than his friend, but the buzz she got from hearing that was unlike anything she'd ever felt. She couldn't begin to imagine what it would feel like to hear him say he loved her.

Without her really being aware of how it happened, they were headed back to the parking lot.

Jonathan walked around the car as Em got in and buckled up. He couldn't do this anymore. Couldn't fight to keep the walls he'd built around his heart secure.

When the teacher had called them Mommy and Daddy, he'd suddenly become hyper-aware in way he'd never been. The reactions of Em and Alicia presented themselves to him in the High Definition/Wide Screen variety. A beautifully directed cinematic masterpiece that he couldn't ignore. His baby sister crowding in on his leg. Glancing up at him, then Em, and back to him again. Her look of trepidation turning into something painfully poignant, an expression of yearning so strong he felt his defence mechanisms crack.

And Em. My God, he'd never seen a look of such wretched, aching, longing in his life. The seemingly unconscious way her hand lifted and cupped the side of Alicia's head. The unmistakable look of love that crossed her face as she stroked Alicia's hair back behind her ear. The gaze that lifted and clung to his, eyes awash with unshed tears but not masking all the emotions that raged there. Need. Desire. Loneliness. And God, had some of the love she'd directed at Alicia still been there?

At her look, the fault line around his heart shifted, widened. Emotions he kept tamped down, locked away, burst free. He could no longer ignore in himself, what he perceived in their expressions. Longing. Need. Desire. Loneliness. And maybe even love.

Jonathan got in the car and looked over at Em. She'd obviously taken the moment and composed herself. Something he desperately needed to do.

She turned and looked at him while he started the car. "Can I ask you something? Something personal?"

Installment 31 Coming Soon!

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