[Mind's Eye] predictions at New Year

The fireworks around Big Ben and the London Eye were spectacular this
New Year. This is unusual - despite Guy Fawkes we do fireworks
badly. We also host the Olympics - that celebration of getting away
with drug abuse better left to nations more dud that Blighty. We once
had a great tradition in distance running, with our best converted
milkmen beaten by blood-doped Scandinavians in the final after they
were dumb enough to set Olympic records in the heats. We have
imported a Somali this year for all events beyond 1500 metres. I may
deign to interrupt my century at Lords to win the long jump and 100
metres dash myself - before nipping off to become King of Albania