Sounds to me like you have the stuff of a wonderful dad, Ash. Life gives us experiences we cannot think our way through to teach us that the mind is not always necessary, and we are often the better for moving beyond it.
On Sunday, December 9, 2012 11:31:11 PM UTC-5, Ash wrote:
-- On Sunday, December 9, 2012 11:31:11 PM UTC-5, Ash wrote:
My last semester was rough, my older son is full of energy and mom had
to take a break. The first six months are pretty much blank, some people
called it a "colic" but for the longest time I just remember holding him
all night humming and rocking, up every two hours all night for a bottle
or comforting, then 'have to be to work in an hour' and get up from
sitting position on the couch, set him in the carseat and throw on
something lacking the wet spot in the lap (every night). The mind goes
to a different place when enduring, but despite being very passive and
thinking way too much I'm hardheaded as hell so all I said was, "Give it
time sweety, please don't make me choose, I'll do whatever it takes."
After a look at the therapy forum open on our other computer I decided
there were many things I just can't say. It's best to acknowledge my
failures with a measure of dignity. Perhaps I'm at an advantage having
no idea what it means to be a man. It has taken some time in study to
connect categorically with the species, and it has taken a bit more than
science, sociology, and psychology has offered.
Rigsy I hope you don't take my glacial speed personally, there's way too
much to sort out on this end. At least that is the safer 'stoic'
appearance to show. Which 'right reason'? From what I've seen it only
exists in territorial dominance (or hermetic orders :p ). Not sure what
type of contribution to the study this is Archy, but here it is.
On 12/6/2012 11:58 AM, archytas wrote:
> One possible resolution is to change our ideas on childcare. I'm not
> sure the focus has to be so much in the home. From the point of view
> of women and men wanting to have kids and look after them the system
> has lots of roadblocks - not least childcare and the times it is
> available (and cost). The big snag with creating decent lifestyles is
> one needs radical change and it's no use waiting for socialist utopia
> or robot heaven - which would be chimera anyway.
> Most of my students with young kids found it hard to start lectures at
> 9 a.m. or attend in the evening or the afternoon after 3 p.m. At the
> same time we had staff in the same position very good at slotting
> their timetables between 10 a.m. and 3 p.m. The provision of
> childcare was always 'under review' rather than a reality. The
> obvious answer is to get more flexibility and childcare in schools
> throughout the year. This is a non-starter in 'business reality'.
>
> On 6 Dec, 13:06, rigs<rigs...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> Which leads to over-compensation and a new prejudice often/sometimes.
>> My maternal history spanned biblicals but somehow I was able to be
>> mostly a stay-at-home mom which even the children were grateful for
>> and I hope to revive some of those skills with my grand-daughters as
>> change is on the way. I have truly missed family this last dozen
>> years. But I do see the additional stress on young women trying to
>> juggle all those "hats"- I even felt jealous of men dashing off to
>> their office when I had toddlers plus business on my mind.
>>
>> On Dec 6, 4:24 am, archytas<nwte...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>> My own feeling on the work side of equality is we have to do too much
>>> of it and that there is, in fact, plenty of time in a 40 year work
>>> span for ten years off to deal with early child carrying and nurture
>>> (or alternatives). We are trying to establish equality in an already
>>> misunderstood and warped system.
>>
>>> On 5 Dec, 00:39, rigs<rigs...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>>> Actually, where I am going to is economics and job creation since
>>>> women are now equal in western countries and have embraced working
>>>> outside the home or must be a co-bread-winner due to the cost of
>>>> living. Plus all must compete with the machine and technology or
>>>> competitive foreign labor. There are dozens of side issues such as
>>>> longer life spans, over-population, impact of financial and government
>>>> mismanagement, etc.//I tend to view the two sexes as a reader/failed
>>>> writer- as types through history and am not very sentimental though
>>>> culture continues to send mixed messages even currently.//It's lovely
>>>> that you had such a positive experience with your own family despite
>>>> Tolstoy thinking happy families were all alike and possibly not
>>>> interesting to him as a writer. I think them fortunate although I
>>>> suppose there is a sense of quest and heroic attempts for those less
>>>> blessed that warms the soul.//Frankly, the Duchess is reminding me of
>>>> how ill I was with my first pregnancy with no tlc or hospital- finally
>>>> my mother-in-law had to take charge. Also another thing- my kind
>>>> neighbor laughing he was glad he wasn't a woman after his daughter-in
>>>> law's very difficult/dangerous labor (over 2 days) and delivery. Don't
>>>> worry- I bit my tongue.
>>
>>>> On Dec 4, 4:11 am, archytas<nwte...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>>>> My Mum and elder sister were pretty strong characters and it never
>>>>> really crossed my mind to treat anyone with other than the respect I
>>>>> felt for them. I see where you re coming from rigs. The repression
>>>>> is ongoing in some minds and reality around the world. We are just
>>>>> changing our gender bias in 'heir to the throne rankings' so that
>>>>> female children get equal place. Quite why we haven't worked out the
>>>>> real issue has nothing to do with gender and everything to do with
>>>>> throwing out the Royals I don't know. If the gender-free inheritance
>>>>> rules had pertained 100 years before WW1 the British King in 1914
>>>>> would have been - er - Kaiser Wilhelm!
>>>>> There clearly are women's issues (men's, gays etc.) - and I doubt they
>>>>> can or should be exclusively derived 'within gender' or sub-classes -
>>>>> though this doesn't preclude groups talking the stuff through on such
>>>>> a basis. I tend to think there has been progress, but I'm not sure
>>>>> how this has come about, if it has.
>>
>>>>> On 4 Dec, 04:01, rigs<rigs...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>>>>> Thanks.// I think your reaction can be traced back to the time when
>>>>>> men were considered the main/only source of security so women were
>>>>>> more likely to protect that; it really is more complicated, however.
>>>>>> Earlier homesteading and farming offered a different balance- a very
>>>>>> important role for the female that gave her a natural or necessary
>>>>>> equality. But younger couples are working on a balance, as I see it.//
>>>>>> Was going to bring Hesiod into the mix as he set out a horrid
>>>>>> description of females in the "Theogeny" (IX, 507-616), written in 8
>>>>>> B.C.. I vaguely remember the professor saying he probably was an ugly
>>>>>> farmer who was spurned by women so he took his revenge. But given the
>>>>>> date, it is close to the Eden story. Another work came to mind written
>>>>>> in the 1950's that I have poked around- "America As A Civilization" by
>>>>>> Max Lerner- particularly Chapter VIII/Section 6- "The Ordeal of the
>>>>>> American Woman" which captures some of what I was looking for in way
>>>>>> of explanation for my parent's generation. I think he captured it- for
>>>>>> a man. :-)
>>
>>>>>> On Dec 3, 8:34 am, archytas<nwte...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>>>>>> Your new account is off moderation rigsy. I've always been struck
>>>>>>> that women talking and acting for themselves are not reflected in the
>>>>>>> literature and that some of the characters most dangerous to equal
>>>>>>> opportunity are female.
>>
>>>>>>> On 2 Dec, 06:27, rigs<rigs...@gmail.com> wrote:
>>
>>>>>>>> On Saturday, December 1, 2012 10:30:37 AM UTC-6, archytas wrote:
>>>>>>>>> The Body Class and Work Disability Discrimination Equality of Opportunity Identity Politics Multiculturalism Objectification Parenthood and Procreation Power Race Rape Reproduction and the Family Science The Self Sex and Gender Sex Markets Trans Issues These are just some of the topics I thought I could put forward in teaching gender issues in management. They underlie the bland politically correct policy matters. One thing has always occurred to me as missing in every debate I can remember. Women are as bad as men as managers. I equate equality with hospitality (always two-sided at least) and suspect we don't realise behaviour is much less to do with gender or the individual than we think and perhaps has little to do with rationality. I don't think we see the wood for the trees on gender.
>>
>>>>>>>> How unlike anything EVER mentioned to me as a girl or young woman. I suppose we depended on family tradition, religion and etiquette as we were groomed for marriage via mystery, motherhood and homemaking. Groomed, indeed!- Hide quoted text -
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>
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